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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Email Sigs

Here's the list of sigs that are randomly appended to my emails.
Order is chronological, most recent additions at the bottom.
All are my own unless otherwise specified.
I'll probably keep this list current so some sigs may post-date this entry.

"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." - H. L. Mencken
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. (Known an Hanlon's razor, though likely an adaptation of a Heinlein quote.)
Emersons Law: Our chief want in life is somebody who will make us do what we can. Having found them, we will hate them for it.
Let the Lemmings Jump
A cold pot never boils.
Seek not that at which you will not fail. Seek that at which you might succeed.
Everything is fatal, if you wait long enough.
Culture: Any set of things which a group of people does for any reason other than that it's the best way to do it.
When the world gives you nothing but lemons, learn genetic engineering.
I will not be resigned to any fate.
The easiest way to beat a society into submission is with many pats on the head.
So much to do. So few lives to do it in.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going. But the rest of the time they're just bored.
You can pretend to be serious, but you can't pretend to be witty. -Sacha Guitry
People will give the most money to he who claims it will cost the least.
"Theoretically you could do the same thing with C++ template functions but in reality C++ will bite you in the ass instead." -Don Hatch
A word saved by one clever writer is a word saved a million readers.
"A romantic is a person who seeks sublime moments, those rare experiences that are at the limits of human emotion, endurance, and understanding." -Greg Robbins
"I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate." -George Burns
Uniformity makes the worst better and the best worse. Corollary: Those who seek the best shun uniformity; those who fear the worst seek it.
You can't change people; all you can do is know them. In believing you can change them, all you do is fail to know them.
Honesty is not just what you choose to say, but also what you choose to see.
Free to be Stupid. Free to be Smart. You can't have one without the other.
Things done at the last possible minute are thus done with the greatest possible information. Procrastination is, therefore, the most efficient means of doing things.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it see its own reflection.
>why do people expend so much effort in destructive, rather than constructive >manners? Everyone spends their lives finding things to do to pass the time until they die. Some people just do more constructive and interesting things than other people do. -Greg Robbins
"If anything, I had too strong morals. I've never been anything but the bottom of the org chart. Non-political. That's why, in the early days, the people who ran Apple decided I was not to be involved in running the company because I didn't have business ethics." -Wozniak
Never doubt a pessimist.
Optimist: One who takes credit for the work of a pessimist.
A pessimist says it can't be done. A realist does it. An optimist takes the credit.
Follow your Dreams. Today!
Those who believe without reason cannot be convinced by reason. ---James Randi Corollary: Those who believe with circular reasoning cannot be convinced by grounded reasoning. ---Simon Funk
"I'm too used to me, and I have much more tolerance for depression, insecurity and low energy than lack of integrity." -- Erik Funk
Humans are like Slinkies. Not good for much, but you just can't help but smile when you see one go down a flight of stairs. (Anonymous)
When you die, it's just your genes shedding their skin.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one. -George Bernard Shaw, (1856-1950)
Fearing the known might save your life, but fearing the unknown will surely waste it.
When you reach the end of your rope, cut it and start a new metaphor.
"I have learned that, for most people, if you inspire within them a conflict between what they feel is right and what they know is right, well, fireworks or waterworks are usually the result." -Rik Ling
Occam's Razor does not apply to women.
Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities. -- Aldous Huxley
Murphy's law affects most those who don't believe in Murphy's law.
The fatal tendency of mankind to leave off thinking about a thing which is no longer doubtful is the cause of half their errors. -- John Stuart Mill
"Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts" -- Richard Feynman
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." -- Winston Churchill
"Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something" -- Robert Heinlein
"The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants, and it provides the further advantage of giving the servants of tyranny a good conscience." -- Albert Camus
"One thing I've learned in the half-century of living and learning is that if society establishes an organized process, cheats will enter, and game the system." -- James Lyons-Weiler
"The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." -- George Orwell, 1984
"The true split of the heterodox world was between those defending the institutions and those who defend the truth. When the institutions separated from the truth, we saw who was who." -Alexandros Marinos
I try to follow the science, but it keeps leading me to the money. -Anon
Much of what are called 'social problems' consists of the fact that intellectuals have theories that do not fit the real world. From this they conclude that it is the real world which is wrong and needs changing. -- Thomas Sowell

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Simon Funk / simonfunk@gmail.com