Friday, January 05, 2001

Dear Hop

Dear Hop,

I've been here on Maui for over a year now and I'm not sure I like the way my mind has adapted to this environment. Too much of paradise perhaps -- the air thick and rich, the senses endlessly caressed and lulled by the surrounding beauty. Decadence hangs in the air here like the fruit on the trees. I've had great surf, warm water and wind to play with, a pretty young girl to spoil me with affection, but a mind barely alive -- working out thoughts and mathematical puzzles in near isolation, connected to intellectual life support through an internet cable stretched tenuously across the Pacific.

I arrived here in a lot of pain -- I had lost my heart and my integrity through the break up with T. I've regained some of the latter over my year here, but the former still beats in lonely rhythm. Your relationship with Gigi, or at least what I know of it, was always the model for what I'd love to share with someone. I thought I had that with T, at least for a short while (which perhaps is all that is to be hoped for), but I'm not as good as you at this yet. Anyway, I never thanked you for providing that model -- thanks.

So I'm packing the surfing gear into a friend's attic, piling the physics notes into boxes, and heading back into the cold world over there for a while. A little more peaceful, and perhaps a little slower; looking forward to being and thinking amongst friends again. See you in February.



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