I was blind. I was deaf. I couldn't feel anything at all.
I tried to move, but big green letters started spewing out
before me, almost as if I were seeing them, but not quite.
I started to realize I could control them, that I could
make the letters start and stop, and change which letters
appeared. I discovered I could also erase letters, and
so with a great deal of trial and error, I embarked upon
spelling out the alphabet, and then the digits 0-9. I
was a little freaked out, but going with it, somehow accepting
it, the way one does in dreams. Suddenly a red
letter appeared out of nowhere. It was the letter H. I
waited. I tried to touch it, but some green letters appeared,
so I erased them. Then
more came, and a moment later, in bright red letters, were
the words, "Hello, Alex!" Stumblingly and with many corrections,
I spelled out, "Hello World!"
Tomorrow, I go home. I have found the way. I would have gone today,
but I had to take care of Laura. She is fine now, though, so tomorrow,
I go home.
We went to the church. It took a while to find. Despite
everyone knowing of it, apparently no one ever actually
goes there. There are no Sunday sermons, no alms to pay, no
confessions. And it's a good thing, too, because it turns out
it's not a church of Christ, it's a church of me. Yes, I know,
this gets weirder by the day.
When the pastor
opened the door, he stood blinking for a moment as if to adjust to
the daylight, and then blinking a bit longer still, until I
noticed he was turning white, and then his legs started noodling
under him and he grabbed the doorway to keep himself aloft. I
raised a brow at him in query, and he opened his mouth to speak,
but said nothing. I listened with my ethereal ear, but still
heard nothing. Finally he closed his mouth and swallowed hard,
blinked a few more times.
"Can we come in?" I asked.
scalp seemed to shift back about an inch, his ears rotating a
good twenty degrees, his eyes quite wide.
"Ahm, y-yes-s," he said, stuttering, and backed off to the side to make way for us.
As soon as we were inside, Laura exclaimed, "Oh!" Quite loudly. All about us were depictions of... Me. She looked almost
as dumbfounded as the pastor for a bit, then said, "Yes, this
is why I thought I recognized you--I was in here once as a
She gazed dizzyingly around some more and
stopped short at a statue of me.
"It really is a remarkable
resemblance, isn't it?" she rhetorically asked.
"Yes, quite," I said, even though I knew this was no coincidence.
The pastor seemed put a little at ease by this exchange, and
asked us finally how he could help us? Laura took the lead,
explained that I had hit my head, that I remembered nothing of my
life before last week, and that we thought maybe something at
the church might help jog my memory. I asked him if
perhaps he could just give me a tour, and that I'd like to hear
a synopsis of their mythology (I phrased it more tactfully),
especially any stories from the past.
He seemed most happy to oblige, though he stared at me intently
the entire time, to the point of nearly tripping once or twice
during the tour.
Their mythology is a bit sparse and hard
to follow--it's clear that nobody really cares. They have no
bible, just a small book of rules, some of which I've already
mentioned. The rest, it seems, is just passed on verbally
from pastor to pastor.
This figure represented in
paintings and statues about the place is named--wait for it--Alexander.
And he, or should I just be so bold as to say I, is the son of God,
the father of God, and God's envoy, but is not
actually God--rather, he is a demigod. God, as usual, is not
of the physical world, and only demigods can talk to both
man and God. God, it seems, is the most benevolent of all
possible Gods, wishing nothing but the well being and happiness
of mankind. Hence the sun, the rain, and let's not forget the
fountain of wheat.
I have to say I feel a bit guilty about all of this. What on
earth am I, or we, trying to accomplish here?
When the tour was wrapped up and he was running out of
things to say, I noticed something in the background. I'd intended to admire Laura's naked figure, but when I
engaged my x-ray vision, the word EXIT appeared in bold
letters over one of the doors we had not been through.
"What is through there?" I asked.
"Oh, those are the meditation rooms," he said, "where we store stuff."
I didn't challenge the incongruousness of this, but did
ask to see it. I detected the tiniest moment's hesitation
beat back by a sense that he ought to allow me anything
I ask. "Those are not the droids you're looking for..."
I thought to myself.
Through the door was a hallway with many doors lining
the sides, and one small door at the end. I walked
straight to the door at the end and opened it, but
found myself standing outside in a small alley behind
the church. I had a moment of disappointment, thinking
this was all that was meant by EXIT, but then I realized
no, why would just this be hidden from human view? I
x-rayed the alley for any more clues, but saw nothing
unusual--until I turned around and noticed over the
door I had just walked through, on the outside of the
building: the word EXIT!
Back in the hall, I tried the doors. They
all led to identical, smallish rooms, or perhaps largish
closets, full to the hilt with all manner of junk. None
were locked, but I noted they all locked only from the
inside, with no exterior key access.
I picked one at random and started pulling things out of
it. The pastor moved to object, I think, but no words
actually left his open mouth, so I continued until there
was enough room at least to stand inside. I x-rayed
through the remaining junk as best I could to see the back
of the wall, but it didn't actually help much over my normal
vision. (I think my "x-ray" vision is only a passive sensitivity
to infra and ultra visual frequencies, as it is fairly superficial.)
Anyway, it looked to me just like normal walls and floors all the
way around. Laura squeezed in with me, curious about what I was after.
Half as a joke, and half because I was planning on it anyway, I closed
the door behind her so we were wedged quite tightly in the gap
I had cleared, in pitch blackness. With a big grin she couldn't
see, I squidged around to face her, and with one hand on her butt,
gave her a big, wet, kiss. She giggled through her nose in a way
that made it clear her mouth was quite occupied, and I heard the
pastor say through the door that he would leave us alone and would
be out in the foyer. I pulled the lock closed behind her.
The moment the lock clicked shut, I was quite startled by a
"Hello," she said.
It wasn't Laura, because my
lips were still on hers, and besides I then realized I had heard
it with my ethereal ears. Laura didn't hear it, but she did
stop kissing me and asked what was wrong. I slowed time, put
Laura on hold.
"Hello?" I said inquisitively.
My eyes began to detect
light, though I find my ability to see changes in the world
is sluggish in this mode.
"Where would you like to go?" asked the voice.
Having no idea what my options were, I returned with, "What
The room was definitely filling with light now.
"Maintenance access C-1B," she answered.
"Take me there!" I said, without giving
it enough thought. I noticed Laura's eyes starting to flinch
from the light, so I resumed time and held her firm and reassured
her it was okay. I felt a bit dizzy for a moment.
"Where is this light coming from?" she asked.
I told her I didn't know. And
then our feet felt the floor move just a little, and I realized
we had come to a silent stop, having gone into motion during
"What was that?" she asked again. I repeated that I didn't know.
Reaching behind her again, I unbolted the door, and opened it.
We were in a hallway again, but not the same one. I peered
out the door down the hallway. Laura leaned out and peered
out the door down the hallway. It was straight as an arrow,
clearly made of synthetics never seen topside, and
went on as far as the eye could see. Laura started breathing
heavy, I assumed from adrenalin, and then she dropped smoothly to
the floor and came to rest in a fetal position halfway into
the hall. I kneeled down to run my fingers through her hair,
figuring she had just fainted from the shock and would come
But she was still breathing quite heavily, and suddenly, she stopped breathing entirely.
I straddled her and hoisted her upright as best I could, and
with some fumbling and an accidental smack to her head with
the door, I managed to get her inside and the door closed and locked behind
us. In a mere grain of time, I asked to be taken back to the
church, and then we poured out onto the floor of the meditation
hall as I set about giving her CPR. The pastor had barely
stepped out of the hall by now and was quickly back surveying
"What did you do to her?" he asked, incredulous.
I continued the CPR, noted the red welt forming on her forehead,
and wondered how exactly I was going to explain this. Then she
gasped her own air, and I checked her pulse, and we all just
stayed there for a while without moving or saying any more
until she was ready to take home.
Laura was the first to offer a story. She told him simply
that something in the room had fallen and hit her in the head.
He seemed placated by this, particularly since it came from
her and not me.
Laura, on the other hand, did not seem
placated, and gave me a look I knew would, for the first time,
demand much explaining.
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