Saturday, September 16, 2006

Summer pastiche



Biking down the Newport Beach boardwalk to bodysurf The Wedge several times a week. On a rusty beach cruiser older than I am.

Seeing a bunch of fresh flowers float by on the waves. Thinking a minute and realizing someone had probably just tossed their loved one off the Newport jetty. Mmm, dead person -- you're soaking in it.

20th reunion. "Oh, you're chief resident now? Me? I've been living in a van in Maui..." Cate school is as beautiful as ever. And my classmates are largely the same.

C going to the reunion dance wearing the school tie. ++Hotness!

Placing second at frisbee golf to my old friend, Ted. Because my high school was about frisbee.

Landlord: "I don't have a record of getting a security deposit from you." Me: "No? Well, here's an image of the cleared check. Note the memo line where it says 'for security deposit.'" God how I love being this anal sometimes.

Driving a car smaller than the van's gas tank. It's so quick! But, err, not so quick that I managed not to run into another car.

"This is Newport Beach, you can't turn left here."

Being the only one in my sister's wedding party not to lower their head in prayer as led by the dorky minister. I'm probably going to catch hell for this when the pictures come out. Heh.

"That's when I knew that here was a guy with enough patience and self-control to be with my sister."

My mom rocking out on the dance floor. I wasn't sure whether to be impressed or scarred.

Discovered that the highly effective diet pill my father was taking was actually a new variety of speed. Explained a lot of odd behavior. Well, explained magnification of normal odd behavior.

Felt the first viscerally negative impact of being bald: while MIG welding, a spark popped up and landed on my naked head above the protective mask. Holy shit that hurt! 5000 degrees may not seem that hot, but let me assure you, it is. Note to self: head protection. Fortunately, the sparks similarly headed for my arms and torso were deflected by fur. Yeah for fur.

"Maybe we should move that workout bench out of the way for you?" "No, just leave it." Bang. "Hey, I think you hit something there -- workout bench maybe?" Bang. "Doh!" Bang. "Oops, looks like you hit something again." Then the paternal lecture came... laughing so hard on the inside that I thought I was going to curl over.

There are geckos on my head.

Betting a pair of string theorists that superparticles won't be found at the LHC. Mmm, two margaritas, blended, with salt please.

"There is a dust storm of biblical proportions coming our way right now. We have about three minutes before it hits." The forty foot square, ten foot tall shade structure held up admirably. Popped all the eyelets on the main tarp, but it was held down by the sprawled out body of the large Prussian designer of said shade structure. Great to see the man overcome his acrophobia when his baby was in danger.

Manmade fire tornado.

Enjoying an excellent vodka and cranberry juice concoction at a moving bar, while pulling and steering two bicycles alongside with my hands and feet. No easy task.

Elvis suit.

"FWOOOSH!!!" The sound of two hundred gallons of fuel exploding into an instant churning inferno.

"It's much easier to ski behind bikes than art cars. When you lay out a turn behind an art car and go a little too far, it doesn't give." -- Simon Funk (you can break the neck, but not the spirit)

Feeling very happy to be sleeping on a bed in the back of a large vehicle again for a week. Keeps the dust out nicely.

Kiteboarding at Burning Man. Opting to wear the kaftan instead of the gold dress, which I thought might get snagged on a wheel at 30MPH and get ugly.

Lie derivatives are more important than I thought. Thanks Michael.

My grandfather's wit -- including a wicked disdain for all things Christian. Many quotes forced into my memory through repetition. Did I mention the repetition? Gin is apparently distilled senility.

Consuming more filet mignon than I will every likely see again in my life, because it's the only beef my grandfather doesn't consider "too tough." So much good food! C is getting so spoiled.

Strip Chess. Is there anything sexier than playing strip chess in bed with a beautiful girl you love? I think not. I'm also really glad I'm kinda good at chess.

Hot tub. Whoo ha!

Thinking about physics a lot.

Getting pitched at The Wedge and smacked so hard on the sandbar that I got a mild concussion. I'm still feeling a little dizzy. And mortal.

I don't have many enemies. This summer I got one: Bob. Tan fellow, loosely employed, golfer, womanizer, likes rubbing elbows with the rich and enjoying the finer things in life, and not working for them. All around worthless human being. Bob, you see, tried to talk my grandfather into giving him a two million dollar rental property -- pretty much my grandfather's only income source. He would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for us meddling kids. It kept us up at night, worrying. We explained to grandfather that Bob was taking him for a ride. As it is, Bob got so frustrated and mad that he didn't pay even his reduced rent this month. This has caused my grandfather to finally concede to letting my father administer his trust. Which means no money lost to the government or to con men like Bob. I'm glad my enemy is stupid.

Purchased two season ski passes for Mt. Rose, near Lake Tahoe. We'll be staying in Rich's extra house for the winter. Come visit, it's nice!

About to buy round trip tickets to Maui for October. Back to the van for a month.

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