Friday, July 22, 2005

Impending doom



So I got the offer today for the full time professoring job at MCC. It seems pretty good -- tenure track physics position on Maui -- but it's a hell of a lot of teaching hours. Eighteen class hours a week, plus academic committee overhead, and all the time spent prepping lab experiments for classes... it means I won't have time or energy to spend on physics research -- my true love. Kind of an ironic position to be in, giving up physics for physics. But I'm thinking I'm going to take it.

Oddly enough, becoming a physics professor is making me feel like a failure. You see, I vowed early on in life (after a traumatic summer working at McDonald's) never again to work a full time job, and up 'till now I've succeeded. This upcoming foray into full employment is painful -- I can subconsciously feel the yoke lowering onto my neck, those around me patting me on the rump... "there there, you'll get used to it -- all beasts do." And, of course, having led a thoroughly spoiled life I can expect no sympathy -- working long hours at stuff you don't really want to do seems to be the normal state on this planet.

I tell myself I can teach efficiently and still have time to work on physics, but that's going to be rough. I'm naturally an introvert and being in front of a class many hours a day leaves me exhausted. What I really wish is that I could spend half the time on this job for half the money. There's no rational reason that couldn't be set up, but of course it's an administrative impossibility. Anybody out there reading this want to move to Maui and teach an introductory college level science class for money under the table? :) No, I guess I have to be kidding about that request. :(

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gar@lisi.com