Sunday, February 22, 2004

Klutz



Life has been laughing at me today. On my last snowboard run down the hill I decided to take a long-cut through the woods to get some powder under my board. At one point I threaded between two trees, dodged a third, and caught my edge on a hidden stump and went over hard. The snow was soft and powdery so it was just a big poof. But, as I was lying there on my back contemplating my own silliness, I turned my head and saw, about six inches to my right, a tree branch, about an inch-and-a-half in diameter and pointy on the end, sticking straight up a few inches out of the snow. Wow, that could have been really bad. I rode the rest of the way down a little more conservatively, happy to have not been impaled.

So, dinner time. There are these high stools in my house that are square. On the front they have a bar going across for a foot rest -- and that's the only way you know that's the front. Anyway, I usually orient these stools with the foot rest facing towards the counter. I was hungry after snowboarding through lunch, so I zapped some leftover Singing Mint Chicken (mostly white wine, soy, mint, and jalapenos with chicken -- really good!) and put it on the counter. Then the most remarkable thing happened. I pulled a stool out a little way and, in my usual fashion, put my foot on the cross bar and hopped up onto the seat in one fluid motion. Only, the cross bar wasn't there. It is very very funny to jump when your feet aren't touching anything -- vertical upwards motion entirely fails to happen. My ass went down in a very undignified manner and the stool went across the floor. I looked around with that expression a cat has after walking into a glass door -- glad nobody saw that. But, then I thought again and realized, no, this was really funny and someone else needed to be laughing at me.

So, when a Garrett falls in the forest, it may be that it doesn't make a sound, but you do get to read about it.

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gar@lisi.com