Tuesday, October 23, 2001

Complexity



OK, gotta catch things up since Mexico.

Went to Burning Man, with A -- it was good. Not as great an event as in years past, but still good. Did the Oracle booth again, was cool. But I don't think I was sufficiently inspired that I will be coming back for another year. Oh, of note: I had a run in or two with a chick who decided she utterly despised me for going out with J a year ago; she kicked me out of a friend's house (a lesson in communal home ownership -- she's the wife of one of the co-owners) and we exchanged an amusing conversation when we ran into each other at the burn. It was oddly educational to have to deal again with repurcusions from J's presence a year ago, especially since I had A with me, whom was darkly amused to see me so traumatized.

Then, after the Burn, on September 15th, I said a sad but long expected goodbye to A and returned to Maui. I missed Maui. I REALLY missed Maui. I got off the plane, jumped in the beautiful ocean, relaxed on the beach under some palms, and just drank it all in with a big happy sigh.

I hung out with a girl, V, whom I had met months ago when in Tahoe and convinced to move to Maui (not so hard) ahead of me with the agreement of finding a place together once I got there. Now, I had been with V for about a week in Tahoe (crazy girl had flown out from New York), but we were still pretty enigmatic to one another, so neither of us had a good idea as to what the heck was going to happen. As it turned out, after a few awkward days, we decided it would probably be better to just be friends and roommates. We never fooled around, and I was still emotionally mixed up and missing A.

We also found a really cool house to rent, a three bedroom in a quiet corner with a spectacular view. Main problem was that the move in date was Nov 1. Nevertheless, V convinced me to apply with her (we got approved) and we wrote two checks ($1250) for the deposit, without even seeing the place since time was important to us sinching the deal. I was very hesitant about that check, but there it went. Went and looked at the place the next day and it really is that cool. Can't wait to move in.

After a couple of weeks in Maui, surfing, learning to kitesurf, playing with old friends, finding a temporary place to stay in a bamboo hut out on a huge property way out in the jungle, etc., I said "what the heck" and met up with J for a hike. It was good to see her. Too good, unfortunately for me and all involved. A few hours later, she broke up with her boyfriend and was aimed at me like a heat seeking missile.

I did not attempt to evade this affection, and in fact was so emotionally mixed up that I shared it a bit, and opened up my curmudgeony old heart. I told her that I did have very warm feelings for her, maybe even more than I ever had before, but didn't really trust her. Same old reservations about the decisions she makes in dealing with others, including me.

Anyway, I was drawn back into her arms, which felt really good. But then I had to tell A about it, which really sucked. Even though A knew that in sending me off she was saying goodbye, she had been missing me a lot. Really a lot. Hearing that I was enjoying J's company didn't help her feel any better.

I spent a fun week playing on Maui and being with J some of the time. I made it very clear to her where my emotions were at -- that I enjoyed her and felt a lot for her, but did not want to be a full couple again, and that I was also still very attached to A, even if she wasn't around. I also hooked J up with a good new job with a mutual friend who needed help running an art gallery. The same mutual friend also introduced me to Bl and Ry, two reasonably intelligent video gaming nerds who were staying at her place for some reason -- turns out they were looking for a place to stay and I talked with them about being potential roommates with V and I.

J was joyful to be spending time with me, and didn't seem to care about what I said was going on with A -- at least up until the time that I told her that A had just agreed to let me fly her out for a brief visit. J took off for another island, very hurt. And A flew in. She was going to have to fly back and start a possible job, but didn't hear from them yet so extended her stay for the rest of the week. We had a wonderful week. Meanwhile, two nasty things happened: my grandfather fell and broke his hip, and I heard a rumor that V didn't want to move in with me because she didn't want to deal with J being around. I talked with family who were taking care of grandfather and said I'd come back for the last week or so of October to help. I couldn't get a hold of V, but did talk to her enough to hear that, yes, she did want out for some reason.

I talked with Bl and Ry about taking the other two bedrooms in the house, since V was backing out -- they wanted it. I booked a flight to see grandfather. A left for San Diego and presumably her new job, but she still hadn't heard back.

A said that she was obviously not very happy about being with J, but understood it and would tolerate it if I wanted to be with her when she wasn't around.

I built a bridge in the jungle. I also put up a web page so they could advertise for hosting retreats there.

I met up at the beach with Bl, Ry, and J, who were becoming friends, and loaned them windsurfing equipment to play with. I asked J what was going on with her and Bl, you know, anything developing there, and she nearly slapped me for even suggesting that there might be any romantic interest there when she had spent the last week in horrible emotional anguish over my being with A. Uh huh.

She was quite hurt, and seemed much happier to be with me. I told her that I did care about her, and like being with her, but there was that trust there that I felt with A and not her. We ended up in bed anyway. Sheesh.

I flew back to LA. Now I'm helping grandfather around the apartment. A was so not pleased that I was with J right after she left. She brought up some soup for grandfather and me anyway -- that was very cool. A also wrote a very nasty email to J, mostly to make sure that she had full knowledge of what was going on. She did. The letter was still pretty cruel.

That brings me up to today.

A drove home to Karate class and to see if she got the job. The job would keep her in San Diego -- otherwise I might have a small chance of getting her to Maui. I called V and talked with her for a while. She says that she likes living where she is, and wanted out for that reason and because it's cheaper. OK, I don't know how much of an influence J was, but I'll take her at her word.

An hour ago I called Bl and gave him the address so he could check the place out. He seemed jazzed and ready to go as a roommate. Nov 1, he'd be there. Hmm, but wait, J was here and wanted to talk to me... turns out J had spent the past couple of nights in Bl's bed.

Uh huh.

This is a soap opera. It's exactly the sort of soap opera I usually go to great effort to avoid.



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